Sunday, January 15, 2006

Living Life Asleep: it's not what it seems

Today was just another great Sunday. There's much to be said about a lazy Sunday, where you have the liberty to sleep in, and do what you want to do not what you have to do. It's bliss.

The picture? Yes, it's me, looking asleep. Interestingly, I happened to be playing with my cell phone photo options the other day, and wanted to see how I might look if I were asleep. Presto: first came the picture, then came a spark for a new blog entry.

I was walking home Friday night from a long, scrupulous day---a week's end to a rough week, thinking of what my evening was going to look like. I had spent the latter 45 minutes after my last class, talking to my boss about our overall school environment. At that point, all the teacher's had left--and the intial plan for the entire JungChul staff to discuss the goings-on of the school, was canceled at the last minute because one of our Korean teachers--Ellen--had a sick grandmother to attend to.

After work, my boss and I brushed over the agenda we were to discuss at the teacher's meeting. We talked about the school's general 'morale,' which felt at an all-time low--caused first by a hectic, winter break schedule that left me nearly breathless and tired after a long work day; and secondly, the onset of gossip, complaints and teacher-division that seemed to leave me feeling a bit of an outsider. Nevertheless, we made headway, and talked intimately about work-happenings, the possibility of a new teacher (one Aussie candidate that just might fit the bill), and my feeling of a lack of teacher training and constant need to educate myself on good-teaching practices. Ahhh...the conversation turned out a little emotional, but I think once we get another foreign teacher, I'll have a bit more time to relax at work. Plus I won't be so pooped to spend the extra time needed to update this grandiose blog, and make it somewhat interesting--I hope!

Now back to this spark. I got to thinking about the picture I took: I look asleep, but I'm really awake. Thinking about this rather sporatically after work on Friday, combined with the discussion I had with my boss, made me think of whether it was possible living life asleep. It almost seems strange if you just read that phrase too quickly; but after a few seconds, it starts making sense. Your comments are welcome.

My point isn't so much about living life asleep; the phrase just popped into my head, caught my interest and I proposed speculation as to whether it was possible. What I finally came up with, however, is that looks are decieving: I appear to be asleep in the photo, but I'm actually not. Would you have thought otherwise?

Precisely. I think now how looks really can be decieving. When I first arrived in Korea, my school appeared squared away, tech-savvy and well established: the truth is, it's still going through the initial transition stage of establishing a good curriculum, meanwhile building publicity to entice students and foreign teachers alike. I dated a Korean teacher who appeared to be honest, caring and intelligent, sharing my passion for travel and learning, while introducing me to the Korean culture and language: then as the truth unraveled, he showed his true colors to be neurotic, venegeful and physically violent. So you see, looks and appearance are simply assumptions about how something really is. You have to pry a little, digging deep below the surface, to understand whether you're being decieved or not. Simply a thought, really.

Today I went over to Anne's house, a fellow Canadian friend of mine. We had great fun catching up, cooking dinner, talking about music and our guitars--which, I brought mine over specifically to play. And low and behold, we found a common ground! She's been learning to play the guitar for a few months now; I've been playing for years, but I'm more than rusty after not playing for nearly 7+ months (I left my guitar back in the States when I left for Korea). It was just a great time. She turned me on to a song by The Dixie Chicks (called Landslide, a cover possibly by Stevie Nicks?). And we played Michelle Branch's "All You Wanted" plenty times over. It was just a great feeling to jam without hesitation or reservation. This week, we plan on heading down to Communes downtown to check out the Wednesday open mic. I hear it's relaxing, so I'm hoping to persuade her to jam there with me soon. I'll let you know how it goes!

Alas, the evening comes to a close, and I must get along and prepare my a.m. phone tutoring classes, which start at 8:30. Goodnight!


Anonymous said...

I would have sworn you were asleep. Next time i'll poke to make sure ;)


Chelsea said...

True enough! LOL. Must have been the under-eye bags? Possibly. I was thinking real hard about deep sleep, and what it feels like. There you go: a decieving pictures! :)