Triple M: Make More Milk...huh?

My last post for 2007. What should I write about? I've posted only a handful this year, and I want to make this last post of the year a good one.

Okay, I thought this would be special: December 31st, and being 12noon, I've got just 12 more hours to remember 2007. Not that I want to remember ALL of it--the year, I mean. Honestly, it's truly been one HELL of a year: 12 months of highs and lows that have both drowned me, and resuscitated me--during the same boat trip, too. I won't bore you with the details, but for those of you who know me, you know that there are many things about 2007 that I DON'T want to remember. And...with that said,

On the upside, I wanted to share with you my most precious gift of 2007.

No, it wasn't finding out I was pregnant on February 14th, and telling my family during my trip home shortly after. It wasn't the unwedding party we had with both my family and Ahsan's at Ali Baba's on May 20th (our original wedding day, but that never took place). And no, it wasn't the actual day Ahsan and I made a split decision to tie the knot by paperwork on July 9th, in the best interest of our baby, who was then yet to be born.

The most precious gift was given to me on October 11th, at 4:15am, after 9 hours of pushing from head to toe, and even begging the doc to cut me open (C-style, that is..) Voila: baby Ayden was born.

I remember in a flash moment, both lips and fingers were covered in blood from kissing this screaming, naked thing, moving on my chest--thanks to the nurses--still attached by umbellical chord and the placenta, which was still deflated inside my womb. Ahsan, behind me, smiling and having to hold my head up (my body was so flacid and weak from going med-free, au naturel..) And there was my mom, in awe (or stunned, if I remember her face correctly), managing to capture this precious picture with unbelievable steadiness.


This was my most precious gift: life. A life given to me--whether by mistake or intention, I am certainly blessed, and if only words could express how wonderful it is to see a little piece of yourself looking back, and smiling at you, everyday. For this, I would go through labor 9,999 more times.

So I was watching Oprah the other day (syndicated reruns, how nice) and fell upon them talking about The Secret, which sort of hooked me from the beginning. You have to check it out, because it turned my negative thinking into a new attitude, and a kind of positive enlightenment suddenly took over. Check it out and you'll know what I mean.

I started to think about what I was grateful for, what God has given me, and that I need to forgive in order to move on. And believe me, I never thought I could forgive those things, events, or people that I was focusing on, nearly killing myself over, agonizing because my life wasn't going as planned, because I didn't have control or because I felt I was just stringing along and observing life's events instead of participating in them. It is amazing when you realize that you do have control, and you can make changes. So I've decided to start the new year on the right foot, and that means, with a new motto and new thinking.

Perhaps you can call me an idealist.

The other night, I was up late, trying to get Ayden to sleep: 2am rolled around and he didn't want to do with any sleeping, at all! It wasn't working--rocking him, singing to him, or putting him in the swing/slider. I just realized that I was all out of breast milk, and I needed to pump more--quickly. Well, the little tyke wanted ,우유 (milk) pronto, and I couldn't express fast enough. So in a fury, I got up to make him formula, nearly tripping over Ahsan who was fast asleep on our heated floor--and then it dawned on me. I've got to make more milk! And not just in the literal sense. Sure, I need to up the pumping to have more supply at hand, but then I got to thinking about what that Oprah segment was all about--creating what we want out of life. I'm a glutton for self-help, I suppose. So I went on a rampage and realized in my thinking, that make more milk is precisely creating what I want out of life. And what I really wanted was to create more, do more, feel more, act more, be more.

Milk is to a baby as ... what? You wanted me to finish the analogy for you? It's exactly what you want it to be. And that's the secret I found out.

Make more milk. I wonder if I should start a new line of journals called that? Journaling is your ticket to psychological freedom. lol. That would be a winner indeed!

So for the time being, I'll start the year 2008 with a smile for myself, a positive attitude for Ahsan, and my darling Ayden on my hip (and breast pump machine in tow so I can make more milk!)

Happy New Year everyone!!

~ Chelsea, Ahsan and baby Ayden

Christmas NOT...

Bah-humbug! I have to say, Christmas was anything but ordinary this year. Newly married, new baby, but same country as last year, and a complete let down. Of all my 29 years of Christmases past, this has got to be the most uneventful, and the most disappointing--except for spending precious time with Ayden, I can honestly say I don't want to repeat this Christmas. How tragic! I was peeved because Ahsan told me just Christmas eve that he had to work on Christmas day, and I had the morning planned to cook breakfast, open presents, and enjoy Christmas together. Okay, so I shouldn't be so dissapointed because Ahsan is Muslim, and he doesn't celebrate Christmas.. but holy cow, if I knew he had to work, I would have made plans for Christmas instead of chilling at home with the baby, waiting for snow to fall! Last year was a blast~and we DID celebrate it (although Ahsan didn't know about giving gifts and at the last minute went out to buy me one!) It was great because we had spent the day in our pj's, making Christmas food with a house full of foreigners, who all gathered together to create a little piece of home in Korea. Perhaps that is why I wanted to go home for a bit during the holidays--to cheer up my spirit from this crazy 2007 year, and start the next on the right foot.

I did however visit my buds Ron and Susan at their pad for awhile, with baby Ayden in tow and a little cranky attitude to serve up. They offered fresh coffee and a chocolate pretzel. Yum! Oh, and Susan's sis, Marinel, and her boyfriend Greg were there hanging out. I don't get to see them often, and they left FLI just right when I came on. Bummer! In any event, I got to hang out with them, and I took a video of our little dude with Ron and Susan. Check it out~

Christmas eve was a blast, on the upside. Just like a scene from an old 40's black and white flick, we all mistakingly believed we were heading over to our doctor's house for the eve celebrations. Boy, how wrong we were! Ahsan and I chaotically loaded the car up with a few gifts that I bought, grabbed the baby and the Christmas cake, and headed over to meet our friends, Sae-bin, and her mother, who were supposed to take us to the doctor's house. The doctor, being, the gal who looked over Ayden when he had a 2 week long Bronchiolitis stint during his second month; Sae-bin also works for her at their clinic in Palgon mountain. What a good nurse she is! Anyhoo, when we arrived at Sae-bin's house, both she and her mom were roaring to go. "Why are you coming here? We're supposed to meet the doctor at YOUR house. She's on her way NOW!" saying in half English, half Korean.

WHAT?!

Supposedly, we had made plans only a few days prior, for the doctor and her family to come to OUR house for Christmas eve. HUH? Sae-bin and I thought we were going to THEIR house for the festivities. What a blunder! The doctor said 'Next year, come to our house for dinner,' and I said, 'Sometime, we'll invite you over for Pakistan food.' Ahh, the confusion begins; that's why it's so important to understand what was said, in Korean or in English! Neither of us understood what the other person had said! lol. So we frantically made our way back home, Sae-bin and her mom in tow, back to our house to clean up and start chow (oh, God, we were SO hungry too.. and we were SOO looking forward to good Korean food, then-thinking we were eating at the doc's house.) We arrived just when the doctor emerged from her car. Quick, Sae-bin. Stall the folks so we can make a dash to clean up and cook! And was there cleaning to be had. I was just lucky I had already done a half-ass clean up just the day prior.

Needless to say, the evening went well. Sae-bin let the doctor know about our mix up, and we all rolled with laughter. 'Twas quite the funny situation!

A snapshot of the evening. We managed to cook some lamb and rice, with fruits and yogurt.. without having gone shopping too!


I'm thrilled for the New Year. I wonder how it'll go. Surprisingly, I'm positive and enthusiastic about it.. really hoping to finish this year with a BANG! Until next time...

Thanks Julian..

A few weeks ago, I went into work to join our teachers for a photo op.

One of our teachers, Julian, is pretty handy with taking photos. I joined the crew, wandering with Julian like a little sheep, looking for the best light for him to capture us in.

These are but a few of the photos that Julian forwarded to me... some head shots, unbelievably professional. I must say, I'm jealous of his Nikon SLR. But oh, it's only $1200. Sigh.

By the way, isn't Ayden adorable? He was 7 weeks old in this picture (taken November 29th). So kissable..

I'm so lucky he caught me on a good hair day. Cheese for the camera. Pure cheese.